Fibromyalgia night from hell!

I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  I really like to refer to it as "Fatbromyalgia" because I think my body is pissed at me for getting really fat.  It's payback.  Anyway, I just feel like a diagnosis is just that and who cares. 

BUT tonight, I felt the agony.  I have had what is called "flare ups" before and have crimped and cracked around.  This past week has been different.  It has been HELL.  Today, I could not walk without my cane.  Yes, I have a cane.  It is a nice wood cane.  I would like to get a fancier one one day.  : )  Anyway, I was out of my medication and had finally picked it up this afternoon.  The whole point of this ramble is that I made it to yoga even though I could barely walk or drive!

One of my classmates, Amanda, was suffering too.  I kind of know why, but that is none of your  business.  In our yoga teacher training, it's like the confessional in Catholic Church...what comes out never comes out out.  So, all the really juicy stuff...well...can't share it.  I have really grown to love these women in a very short time.  They are so lovely and interesting, I wouldn't want to break their trust.  (But in a novel and names changed...wellllllll  haha)

Tonight, I could do less than my usual during the poses.  It was so frustrating.  I felt ashamed.  I know that is crazy and my own perceptions are cracking me up...but it is a pain in the ass to suffer this pain.  Dani, my teacher whom I love and adore, floats around the room and makes me feel good.  She really cares.  I am not kidding.  She is one of those people who are genuine lovey dollies.  I am so blessed to know her.  OH, my future husband, Chris, Dani's current husband, was in class tonight.  : )  It's my joke.  The truth is, they make a gorgeous couple inside and out and I really care about him too.  I really admire him.  Anyway...

We had a great discussion on the book, Value of Values tonight.  ( I will cover this in next blog.)  It was a great class except for hardly being able to move and feeling like crap. 

I was feeling so sad really, at the end of class.  I feel badly because next Thursday, I teach the class.  UGH YIKES OMG  Yes, it's true.  The sarcastic side of me says, "Are you kidding me?  You suck so badly and all these girlies are a billion times better than you!"  I kind of said as much and one of my classmates, Erin, said the best thing.   She said this is our safe place.  No one is going to judge you or make you feel badly.  Well, she said it much better.  It made me think of the movie "Independence Day" with Will Smith.  The world came together to fight a shared enemy, aliens!  They all worked together and realized we are all one.  Everyone of those ladies in my class, whether they like me, hate me or are indifferent, definitely support me.  They have my back.  I feel so much better.

Oh, another thing.  My pain in my legs and feet and everywhere...well...it has dissipated tremendously.  Why?  There is nothing like a big glass of Cabernet Sauvignon and a pain pill to cut the agony OUT!  That is why this isn't the best blog entry on the planet, but I just wanted to check in.  I have a  much better one to share about going first in the teaching yoga and a discussion on the book, Value of Values.





Me and my medicine  haha  I am not a drunk!  I swear!  : )

 Peace Love JOY

It's all about Joy people and a good glass of wine!

Amy : )