All is well

"Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured." ~ B.K.S. Iyengar

I love this quote.  I am curing myself, physically and mentally.  I am enduring, not so well.  I know it will come along.  I worry a lot about things I need not worry about any longer.


I cannot force love or force myself to do what I cannot yet do.  As I continue my practice, I will connect more and more with the Divine.  I will be free.  I am free.  It's amazing. 

All this "Rapture" stuff really made me think.  (From my understanding, the end of the world for everyone who isn't a Christian or something...either way...I am screwed!) If the world were to end right now, how would I feel?  I realized, I would be fine.  I know that change just means new beginnings.  I must hold that thought close to my heart and remember,with total assurance, that all the love I give is going to come back and knock me on my ass one day.  I can't wait.  : )

During this time of change, which just means life, many things have come and gone.  I am more happy, more satisfied with myself, love myself more and appreciate my body more.   The bad changes have been losing friends and realizing that those people I thought were forever or super strong, were not.  That really hurts because one of those people was me.  Even though my "past self" was really overweight, super sad, super sick, super blah, I kind of feel badly for her.  It's like it was another person.  I guess I am trying to say that even at the worst, I was still loved by me and my inner being.  I still loved that Amy.  Now, I am still overweight, still have anxiety, still deal with depression, and sometimes I am super blah.  Yet there is a tiny bit of me that is wise and I can hear that part saying, "All is well and you are loved".  (Abe)  When you realized that, you realize that going through some hard times and doing a lot of wrong things occurred so I could learn and do some right things.  I am learning. 

Each day I grow more free, more blessed, more strong and more like me.  I really like me.  I spend a lot of time with me and I am telling you, I laugh all the time.  Yes, I am alone, but I am funny.  ha ha ha

Basically, I am learning to be easy on myself as I learn new things everyday.  I do regress a lot, but that means I overcome a lot.  The more I overcome, the more I will be me.  Just me, perfect Amy.

Peace Love JOY
Amy

This is an untitled painting I am working on right now.  It is very rough.  It is like the prayer pose.