Changing My Blog

I am changing my blog.  I am changing everything in my life!  The blog is taking forever and I am taking my time.  The only real change I have made so far is that I have made the background my painting, "my vibrations".  It's tiled so it covers the entire background of my blog. 

I am changing this blog and everything in my life for I am in such a stale place.  It's not a sad place, but it does make it easier for me to be morbid.  I am not saying being morbid is bad.  Sometimes it's hysterical!  But I am too likely to brood for too long so things have to change.

I have no idea what is happening.  I just know it is good.

Please be patient and thank you for following my blog.  Namaste

Saved by YOGA!!!!

Hello Friends!  I am so happy and I feel wonderful!  I went to yoga class last night.  I am so glad I did go and experience tons of love and joy!

As you know, I was going down the old agoraphobic route again.  I probably will always deal with agoraphobia.    I know I can conquer it and be all the better for the fight!  It's not even a fight.  It is really about one simple choice:  I want to feel good/I want to feel bad.

I choose.  I am in control.  I want to feel good.  I want to feel good all the time and nothing is more important to me.  It sounds selfish.   It is the most unselfish thing I could ever possibly do.  It is only when I feel good and put myself first, then I am able to help and love others.  It's that simple.




I have the power to make my life wonderful.  LOVE PEACE JOY



Last night was a wonderful evening of seeing old friends, meeting new people, sweating my face off and working it like a yogi.  I saw my sweetie and yoga buddy, Amanda. She was vibing joy and bliss from her trip to Costa Rica.  I could hardly understand her !  She was talking so fast and so blissfully about her experiences in Costa Rica.  Amanda had a life changing time and she was sending out that vibe like a speeding train!

I was a talky girl too.  I was so happy to see her, still jittery from my fears and being knocked over by her vibe.  Everyone who came in heard my story!  ha  I swear, when I am nervous, I explain to everyone how I am feeling and how happy I am and isn't life great!  ha  I never said I was perfect. 


Then Dani came in sending out love and joy.  Hugging her is like hugging a trusted confidant and teacher.  I guess that is what she is for me.  She is my hero and my guru and I am love it.  It was great to see her and she was all giddy with bliss vibe too.  She had gone to Costa Rica with Amanda for a yoga retreat in paradise.  The pictures prove that it was paradise. 




Yes, that's Dani in Costa Rica!  Yes, she is beautiful.  That handsome fella is her husband, Chris McGuire.  Chris is a great guy and terrific yogi himself. 



Amanda has a picture of herself under a waterfall.  When she had arrived in Costa Rica, she was incredibly ill and her body in horrible pain.  Amanda told me she was ready to leave Costa Rica and come home immediately.  Yet, she went to the waterfall and stood under it.   Incredibly and immediately, Amanda said her illness and pain went away.  She felt well and so happy.  The picture proves this.  Amanda, under the waterfall, looks like bliss.  She is glowing.





Check Amanda out!  She looks so beautiful and blissful!  She is glowing!  What a wonderful experience!



Also, Dani, my friend and teacher, is one of the most beautiful women around.  It's not really her face and body that makes her so beautiful, though she is gorgeous in that way.  Dani is love.  Dani is a teacher and a good one.  Dani really sends love out and really cares about helping people.  She is powerful mentally, spiritually and physically.  Can you blame me for making her my mentor?  My hero?  She is really cool.  She puts up with me and I am a not always easy to understand.  She has great patience and love for me and all her students.  It's real.  I only hope that everyone in the world has a teacher like that in their lives.

My Guru, Vani (Dani) and my yoga buddy, Amanda.  Costa Rica 2012

The heated Vinyasa class was difficult.  It was sweaty.  It was Wonderful!  I felt so wonderful, even when I was shaking in a pose, it felt like power!  Yoga is power.  My body loves yoga.  My heart loves yoga.  My mind loves yoga.  I am a yogi.  I would never call myself that before, but now I believe it.  I am proud to call myself that and not feel the need to say "almost" or "maybe one day".  I am RIGHT NOW!  So, I am an artist, writer, photographer, yogi!  YEAH!



I know that this blog is very self-indulgent.  It is more like a journal entry than a report, but it's mine.  I love it.  I remember hearing a line in a movie, can't remember what movie, and the actor called blogging graffiti with words.  I understand that and agree.  Blogging is a type of graffiti.  We all want to be heard and understood.  Blogging for me is really about sharing my experiences with yoga and everything connected to yoga.  I also look at blogging as practice.  Like everything, a writer needs to practice writing to become good at it.  So, you get to read my practice.  Lucky!  ha

Anyway, I love yoga.  I am sure I will have times when I skip yoga and go into the dumps, it's just me.  It is ok.  I have me.  : )

Namaste
Amy




Tree pose.  One of my favorite poses.  Love Love Love



Spoooooked!

See!  I look like a nightmare!  My eyes tell the story of not eating right for my body and not doing my yoga thing.  yikes!

I have signed up for 8 hours + of yoga for this week.  Why?  Because it scares the crap out of me. 

I have been very agoraphobiaish (my own word, obviously) ever sine January 3rd.  I had gone to the Prana grand opening of their new space.  I had a great time.  Later that evening, around 11pm, I became deathly ill.  I puked every bit of my internal organs out and those of anyone near me.  Then, I began to shit.  I shit and puked until the cows came home.  Then I shivered and ached for a week.  Then I just felt nauseous for about a week.  I finally felt better last week. 

I am one crazy bastard.  Or bitch.   I guess bitch is more correct.  I have allowed myself to get all agora (my abbreviation of my struggle) and not go to yoga since January 3rd!  CRAZY!!!!

I feel like shit.  I look like shit.  I have been eating like shit.  I'm a shit.

So, I am going back.  Tomorrow night is Dani's heated Vinyasa class.  I will be there.  Will I survive?  I will keep you posted.

I have to fight my fears.  I have to take the steps to my recovery from agora and fatassness.  I know I have to do it.  For me.  If I really love me, damn it!  I guess I love you, bitch.  (I am talking to myself.  I do that allll the time.  normal?  who cares!)

I also have to manifest the cash for 2 upcoming workshops at Prana.  In February, Diane Booth Gillam-Yogastrology, is coming to Prana.  I must be there.  I am the angel who hooked Prana and Diane up!  : )  ALSO, my newest teacher, David Romanelli, is coming to Prana in March !!!  Damn!  I need to manifest lots of cash asap!

Please send me abundance in cash vibes !

I will let you all know if I survive this week  You know, I will.  : )





Ganesh will help me kick down the walls of my fat ass and lazy ways!  Namaste


Peace Love Joy
Namaste  xo